Journal Entry #17 — “Hell Week & Level 1 Stats”
Messy week. Weight up, motivation down, brain overloaded — but I’m still here, still in the arc, still grinding with level 1 stats.
The Week Everything Felt Heavy
This week was a hell week, both physically and mentally. I’m up two pounds from last week. And sure, it has only been two and a half weeks since I started, and logically I know this happens. I shouldn’t care. I shouldn’t spiral.
But let’s be real. I’m the impatient, instant-gratification type. Always have been.
When I was younger, if something didn’t go right, I used cheat codes. If a game had a shortcut, I took it. Quick fix now, deal with consequences later. That mindset still follows me today.
And this week, my motivation reserve is empty. Energy spike gone. Maybe it’s the lack of sunlight. Maybe it’s the stress of buying a house. Maybe it’s my body adjusting to everything new. Or maybe it’s all of it stacked together.
But even feeling like this, I’m not giving up.
I keep seeing people going from 400 lb to 250 lb. It took them months, not an anime time skip, but they still did it. This is Ethan, a real power house of willpower and growth!
Maybe I really should start that YouTube channel just to keep myself accountable, haha.
Then there was the apartment issue. Half the power went out and for a second I thought I messed something up. Turns out the circuits were badly installed and shut off before causing a fire. Good news, I didn’t break anything. Bad news, no treadmill.
So I walked outside. The horror.
Meal planning also hit harder this month. Groceries cost more and doing a reset every Sunday might be too much. I tried to cook better, train better, be better all at once. And yeah, that’s the point of this arc, but damn… it stacks up fast.
I feel like crap, not going to lie.
But the Shonen Community is something special. People hyping each other up from a distance. I didn’t have that before.
Here is the lesson of the week:
Sometimes your willpower outgrows your initial stats.
It’s like being the main character who gets isekai’d with level 1 everything. You want to save the village, but you can barely lift a shovel. But you still show up. You still grind XP. You still push.
Level 1 stats. Level 10 determination.
That’s where I’m at.
“Your starting stats don’t define your arc. The grind does.”
Right now I feel…
Tired, frustrated, and a bit discouraged, but still in the fight. There’s a small spark left and that’s enough to keep me moving.
My Wins This Week
Even in a hell week, small victories exist.
- I showed up, even on low-energy days.
- I adjusted workouts instead of quitting.
- I handled the electrical chaos without panicking.
- I meal-prepped and stayed mostly consistent.
- I didn’t fall back into comfort eating.
What Did I learned today?
What this week tried to teach me.
- Level 1 stats do not equal level 1 effort.
- Progress is never linear at the start.
- Impatience is one of my real enemies.
- Consistency matters more than motivation.
- Sometimes life forces you outside… literally.
Intentions for Next Week
A few simple things to focus on, without speedrunning life.
- Pick persistence over perfection.
- Prioritize form and recovery over numbers.
- Walk more, even if it’s cold and annoying.
- Lower the pressure I put on myself.
- Choose one small habit to build.
Workout
Notes
I overworked some muscles doing pull exercise like dead hang, rows, etc. It seems that my desire to do my best outweight my strength and endurance.
